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ABOUT
Welcome to The Halfnerd Girl! Who am I? Alice: expert daydreamer, fashion freak, Ravenclaw and severe book nerd. I have a huge interest in photography and travelling the world - also, I drink a lot of lattes. I'm a Nordic who grew up in southern Europe so think of me as a viking with a(n occasional)tan...uhm...also, I'm kind of wierd. Enjoy and follow if you do! Hugs and Kisses Instagram
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disclaimer
All pictures on this blog are taken by me (unless otherwise linked) and therefore belong to me. Be kind and do not copy or use them without my permission! XXX
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I'll paint up the picture for you: My family owns a summerhouse out in the countryside and it is the best place on the planet. We bought it 13 years ago, remodelled it to my parents tastes and then the love story commenced. I have spent pretty much every summer living out there along with most Christmases and other breaks where we haven't gone travelling somewhere else. To give you an idea:
When I was younger and we had moved back to Sweden, meaning it was now only a 40 minute trip from the city, my parents were keen on driving out on weekends and what not and I was not. I wanted to stay in the city and play with friends. Now, however, and I think this is a sign of maturing, I love driving out there. I want to be there all the time. Its a combination of disliking the city we live in and loving the country air and having endless fields as your neighbours and being alone. This Christmas, as per usual, we packed up the cars and moved out here until my siblings start school again. Christmas was wonderful, a bubble of cosiness, food and not feeling the pressure to do anything in particular. I slowly lose my city-persona as I get used to my make-up less face and my new go- to outfit consisting of sweaters and leggings. I detach from shopping-urges, time consuming hairstyling and my phone. I become someone who is happy and de-stressed and natural. Someone who is simple. I like this version of myself. I feel like I think better and like I breathe better. Its funny how only a week of living here changes your perspective of things. I suddenly value a day where I have a reason to dress in something nice and do my hair, instead of feeling pressured to do so everyday - like it's a burden. I also feel more creative, being surrounded by nature is the best fuel for getting started on sketches, stories, paintings...even my virtual creative space (i.e. blogs) is nurtured by it. Maybe I like it so much because its an escape and maybe that isn't only a good thing. On the negative side I tend to forget keeping up with text conversations and my social life in general. But lets not dwell on the bad...I can work on them later. Lets bring the story up to yesterday, New Year's Eve. Every New Year's for the last five years or so, I've spent the evening with my parents, siblings and my dogs. No one else. We make a fancy dinner and watch the fireworks in the distance from our windows and that's pretty much it. Exciting? Not really, but it's not supposed to be. I think New Years is a bit overrated. This year however, my friends and I thought it might be fun to do something more traditional for our age...partying. New Year's is obviously and opportune time for going to parties and I was like hey, maybe I'm missing out on something (spoiler alert: you're not.) So we made plans to find a bar/club that had a New Year's event going on and dust off the party clothes. We decided on a bar in Copenhagen (about a 1.5 hour journey from the city we live in). Yesterday morning I wake up and I am conflicted. Honestly, I didn't want to go. I'm not a party person (most of the time) and that's okay. Do whatever makes you happy, right? However, I had agreed to go and felt as if I would miss out on something if I stayed home. Also, I knew even though it didn't feel like it at the time, going to a party would probably be fun. My mom saw my doubt and told me that of course I was going, you're eighteen, go have fun with your friends. Getting ready that afternoon and hearing my parents prepare dinner in the kitchen, dinner that I would miss out on, was difficult. So was standing in the hallway dressed up with a bag packed of overnight things, hearing my parents tell me the usual pre-party warnings don't drink too much, take care of each other, never leave your glass out of sight... Hardest, though, was stepping out into the cold and dark afternoon and walking away. The moment the door closed I felt so alone. I got into the car and just sat there. I was sadder than I've been in a long time. Maybe it was hormonal or something but I wanted to cry. Even more than that though, I wanted to go back inside and stay there. I didn't. I drove away. Once I got to my friends and I'd had a glass of champagne, things felt okay. I didn't feel like I had to drive back anymore. The night ended up being interesting. It was fun and then it wasn't. Alcohol makes things more fun but also more hard. I think worse and I breathe worse. I won't get into the events that occurred but I will say that from it, I can conclude once again that I'm just not cut out for the bar-life. At least not yet. I woke up this morning, relieved that we were all safe and sound and that nothing too bad had happened. First thing I did was to get dressed, pack up and jump into the car, ready to drive back to my country home. Now I'm here again and reflecting upon my New Year's. Maybe we just did it wrong but I'm happier without it. I don't need crazy night-life. I don't need alcohol, sweaty strangers and loud music. I need air and I need space. And that's okay. People are different, people want different things and that's something that I've always embraced. I don't care if you're "supposed" to be into clubs and drinks and making out with strangers on dance floors. If I prefer books, move-nights and coffee, that's okay too and it doesn't make me any less cool. We're all cool, okay? In our own quirks and interests and individuality. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that you should 100% embrace the person that you are. It's cliché but it's true. There's no point in wasting time not enjoying yourself. Imagine all that time that you could be doing something you're interested in instead. I'm not writing myself off from parties completely, not at all. I like a good adventure and a good story afterwards. This experience has just reinforced me to believe in doing your own thing and to feel more and more okay with saying no sometimes. Thank god I don't get hungover, that would've been the cherry on top. And friends, if you're reading this, thank you for this New Years. It was messy and chaotic but we'll probably (most definitely) laugh about it just like we laugh about the last time and it'll be another story to our collection of adventures. No regrets. No takebacks.
Thanks for reading.
Hope you had a safe New Years. Happy 2014!
XXX
Alice
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